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BASE Jumping: Articles: Stories: Rocket Wonder Dog

Rocket Wonder Dog

by Tom Begic

Aaaahhh, Rocket. Now that is an infamous story. Quite funny if you’re not an animal lover fascist and you have a warped sense of humor.

I will use fake / no names to protect the innocent. I am passing this story on 2nd hand and deny everything!!!!

One boring day after completing some wonderful jumps, several jumpers were sitting around wondering what to do. Lets call the jumpers Flippy-do, Gimp, Ruin, and Fatso!!!!!! They were sitting at Fatso’s place when fatso’s mother’s dog turned up to play. Big mistake - no, actually - it was a turning point in the dog’s life. His real name was changed by deed poll from an Eastern European unpronounceable name to Rocket - just like all budding movie and porn stars do.

The lights were glowing brightly in the minds of Flippy-do, Gimp, and Fatso. Out came a 20yo 8ft military cargo roundy, webbing, gaffer tape, and a plastic shopping bag.

Fatso’s mother was starting to worry. She loved her dog dearly and could see that the jumpers were up to no good - oops, I mean they were accelerating the creation of an extreme doggy legend and mapping out a potentially lucrative career in the media (cough splutter bullshit cough).

As the jumpers sped off (I mean drove calmly) to their destination, mumblings of “that dog better come back in one piece or you will suffer the same fate” were heard in the background.

The show arrived at the destination. Rocket was displaying signs of excitement as the jumpers (now acting as riggers, stunt advisers, safety officers, animal rights consultants, fluffers, cinematographers, etc) approached the exit point. Rockets ears were curled down, his eyes were darting around wondering what the hell was going on - oops I mean he was assessing the whole scene as a part of his regular pre-stunt potential problem analyis.

The webbing was very professionally made into a harness by some of the finest riggers this world has seen. The deployment system chosen was the most up to date direct bag technology (the canopy was “packed” into a plastic shopping bag). Flippy-do gave Rocket his final instructions. Gimp was assigned the critical role of D-Plastic Bag deployment specialist, Fatso was filming. We had several support crew in the water below.

As the scene board was cut, silence enveloped the jump site (until a semi trailor drove past and nearly blew the whole film crew off the bridge). Rocket looked over the edge and gulped. He knew he was in for something special. A ground breaking event. He just wasn’t sure what to expect. ;)

As Rocket lept off the bridge (we are yet to confirm but he may have been assisted with a gently placed hand on his tush by Flippy-do), the crowd held its breath. Rocket plummeted at hundreds of miles per hour to line stretch. The key moment arrived - would this latest technology deployment system function adequately for this extraordinary stunt. The next fraction of a second would tell. Like slow motion - the canopy started releasing from the plastic shopping bag. Anticipation was high. You could feel the heart beat of the crowd and the star that was entertaining it. A defining moment in aerial stunt cinematography was occurring before our eyes.

Rocket was almost burning up due to the immense speed he was reaching. The jumpers were extremely well prepared for such a scenario. Their skills included physicists, IT analysts and programmers, mathematicians, engineers, stunt coordinators, riggers, etc, etc. This whole event was so thoroughly planned and executed, thousands of lines of code were written to calculate every aspect of the stunt including physical, emotional, spiritual, etc. Simulations were conducted. Test were done.

Back to the event - as the canopy finally escaped from the bag and started its gentle inflation, Rockets special fire retardant and G Force suit kicked in as he decelerated from supersonic freefall speeds to a gentle waft / float towards the water below.

The crowd was relieved with the perfection & execution of this stunt.

Rocket dropped gracefully into the water and was immediately retrieved by the well equipped rescue crew (he was fed 2 cans of dog food as well!!!!!), the fluffers toweled him off and he was ushered past the adoring crowds into a waiting car.

The whole event was so dramatic for Rocket that he suffered a strong case of flatulence on the way back to his country estate.

Fatso’s mother was so impressed that Rocket came home alive.

After the dizzying heights of his stunt / movie career, Rocket went on to do several cliff and another bridge tandem with Fatso. He was well on the way to becoming the first ever BASE doggie until tragedy struck.

After a long difficult day at the country club, Rocket decided to sleep under the front tyre of Fatso’s mum’s car. She approached the car from the rear and could not see the front. As she reversed the car out of the garage she felt that sickening bump that haunts her to this day.

Rocket died a hero. He had achieved so much in his short life but had not even come close to realizing his full potential.

It was ironic that the person who loved and protected Rocket the most (Fatso’s mum) was the one who would bring about his downfall.

There have been several pretenders to Rocket’s throne. But no one could match his courage, brilliance, and sense of adventure & achievement.

RIP Rocket. You will be remembered forever.

Submitted by Tom Begic on 2007-06-19 | Last Modified on 2007-06-28

Rating: 12345   Go Login to rate this article.  | Votes: 7 | Comments: 6 | Views: 4439

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6 Comments CommentAdd a Comment

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5 out of 5 stars POST THIS VIDEO PLZZZ!!
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thats a well acomplished k9
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my dog starts yellping when I climb up a ladder
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Yeah, put the video up! I wanna try it with my dog!
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I swear I won't tell PETA, I want to see the video. That's a sad ending to such a good dog.
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thats how I made my first jump!

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